There was this beautiful princess – lovely, charming, and enchanting.
A monster had kept her captive – in an old, sky-touching castle.
She was hopeless. And sad.
Then one day, a handsome prince came to rescue her. He killed the monster and freed the princess. They fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after.
Not All Fairy Tales Are True (And No One is Coming to Rescue You)
I bet you also must’ve heard similar fairy tales in your childhood.
There’s nothing wrong with fairy tales except that they may make you believe in false things.
You may assume all fairy tales are real because the people narrated those stories were your grandparents, your parents or other people close to you. It makes you forget the reality that no one is coming to rescue you.
Such stories make you believe that no matter how much pain you may be in – there will be someone coming to your rescue.
The belief gets stronger as the days progress. And for a good reason – your parents and family are most likely to help you when you’re small.
So, you get a “feeling” that you don’t need to take responsibility for your life. No matter what – somebody will always be there for you. And guess what, you don’t realise the folly behind this belief even when you get older.
After getting your college degree, you try hard to get a job and become “independent.” But unconsciously you still believe that life is not your responsibility. If something wrong happens, others should come to your rescue:
- A left-wing political leader
- A right-wing political leader
- A spiritual guru
- A kind CEO
- A caring cousin
- A worried parent
- A concerned teacher
The “who” doesn’t matter. But someone must be there.
This false ‘hope’ that somebody will come to your rescue keeps you intoxicated for years.
Most of us live intoxicated by this unconscious belief all our lives. Only lucky few realise that no one is coming to rescue them. And with this realisation comes heartbreak.
Does that mean you were living in the dark all these years?
The answer – is not sugar-coated. It’s a yes.
“So there’s no hope?”
There’s always hope.
You need to realise that you must gather the courage to rescue yourself.
So how about exploring some ideas?
Here we go.
Quite often the best thing to do is to hang on.
Hang on for one more day. Hang on for one more month. Hang on for one more year.
Life can be cruel. Full of hardships.
You may have lost your mother in your childhood.
You may have had to live away from your parents – because your father had no job – and he could not afford your education.
You may have had to go without food – for three days in a row – because you were unemployed.
Failures. Setbacks. Heartaches.
They can knock you down if you let them.
And they can help you grow strong if you let them.
Probably you’re passing through an uncomfortable phase.
Depression is all over you, and you’re considering getting rid of your life.
But, will ending your life serve you any good? I doubt that.
Prematurely Ending your life is not worth it.
I understand what you’re going through because I also had passed through similar phases.
Ending your life will not serve you any purpose, and you must reconsider. You never know what tomorrow has in store for you.
It’s right there’s no guarantee tomorrow would be good. But how do you know it’s going to be bad only?
So, don’t give up yet. Just hang on for a little more time. One day you shall be able to find the purpose of your life.
Until then, hang on.
Rescue Yourself from Toxic People
It’s better to be alone than in a lousy company. Hanging out with toxic people can affect your life negatively. And if you keep company with such people, you’ll have a hard time developing healthy self-esteem.
Such people look just like you and me. But they’re different. They complain a lot.
If the people you’re hanging out with always complain how bad things are, they are dangerous.
You need to let them go.
Explore the Options
You wish to live the life of your dreams. We all do.
Some people get ‘The right break at the right time.” And some less fortunate people (like most of us) get to grab opportunities at a later stage in life.
But most of us have quite a few options – if we open our eyes to them. You need to explore your options to find out which one is right for you.
And options do change with time.
An option that appeared quite right at one point in time may have lost its charm now. Life may have been compelling you to try another option.
Don’t fear. Just go with the flow. Maybe it’s for your highest good.
Back in 2003, I wanted a career in radio jockeying. I did become one. Then after three years, I ventured into voice-overs.
Also, in 2010, I got an opportunity to train B.Tech students in personality development. Motivating young people like you with my speaking classes and blogging started making more sense to me. And here I am – talking with you.
Let go of the option that’s not making sense to you anymore.
Life changes and so does your perceptions. If a new opportunity is knocking at your door, don’t resist. Just open the goddamn door!
Explore all the options you have. And when you find the “right” one, embrace it with open arms.
Market Your Talent
You need to market your talent to get successful.
Humbleness is worthless when it comes to market your talents.
You can make this world a better place. And for that, you need to offer your skills.
You may not have realised it. But you’ve many valuable skills. You do.
You hide your talents because you don’t want to irritate others with bragging. That’s why you avoid marketing your skills.
Realize the fact that you can market yourself without being a jerk. Learn to use polite yet powerful words to describe your skills.
Setup Your Professional Team
There are things you do well. And things you suck at.
That’s where a “team” comes in.
A team is a group of people helping you handle the tasks you suck at.
But, building a team can be challenging if you’re not comfortable delegating tasks to others.
You may fear that a particular task may not get done the way you want. And guess what? You’re right.
You need to trust people and their abilities. You need to let go.
It’s true that nobody can do a task the way you do. But if you keep on doing things you suck at – you’ll hardly have time to do things you do best.
Things will go wrong sometimes. But the more you educate people, the better the results be.
To achieve more considerable success in life, you need a team of ‘right’ people.
If you’re a business owner – you need a sharp accountant, an attentive secretary, a competent attorney and various other people to get things done.
Build a Personal Team
You need a team to handle your tasks.
It won’t be a team in a strict sense. But making a list of people can help.
For example – a grocery store, an automobile service station, a salon, a dairy, etc.
Choose the best option available. That way you will be able to focus on things that matter.
Also, you need some trustworthy people to discuss your personal and professional challenges.
That way you can have a fresh perspective on the challenges you may face.
A real-life example
I used to feel ‘ungrounded’ at times.
I consulted a chakra healer, and she explained that to connect with my roots, I needed to honour my forefathers.
She said, “You need to thank your ancestors, first thing in the morning and last thing at night.”
She made me realise that I exist because of my ancestors. It was an entirely new perspective for me.
I followed her advice and things improved.
Remember – sharing helps.
Formal education is a must but not sufficient.
You need to invest in life-skills – how to speak in front of your class, how to approach a girl, how to dress up for an interview or party – things like that.
It was 2001 – I had no fucking idea about the internet but somehow created my first email account in an internet cafe.
And you know what – I thought I would need to go to the same cafe to check my email.
Then I started learning.
It took time – I read and practised as much as I could. And it paid off.
So how do you learn new things?
Face to face conversations. Books. And the internet.
Join a group.
Apply for the membership of a local library.
Become internet savvy.
Educate yourself. Learn as much as you can.
Everything you learn comes in handy.
I used to work as a copywriter with a private FM station in 2007. And I used to think – “Is this what I wanted – writing scripts for commercials?”
Now I realise it was all worth it.
Nothing goes to waste.
When Life Throws Lemons At You
I launched this blog in 2011.
A little later after the launch, I needed some tweaks in design. Unfortunately, the designer was unavailable for the next one year.
I was stuck because I had no clue about website designing.
I could’ve hired another one or do the tweaks myself.
So, I started learning. And made mistakes – the blog was down for almost nine months. And I had no clue what the fuck happened. I kept learning and discovering more stuff. And the blog was up and running again.
No matter how desperate your present circumstances are. You can always improve things – by responding to them positively.
Do you want to earn more money?
Do you want to improve communication skills?
Do you want to boost performance in your favourite sport?
Then, you must take charge. It’ll be painful and challenging. But you have to do it. It’s your life, and only you are responsible for it.
Quit From Futile Battles
Fighting feels good when you know you’re winning.
But is the battle you’re fighting is yours? Is the cause worth fighting? And are you still interested?
Are you fighting a battle you don’t want to? Are you in because:
You once believed in the cause?
Were you one of the whistleblowers?
If you don’t believe in the cause anymore, why are you still there?
Is it because of you –
Don’t want to disappoint others?
Have fear people may not approve of you leaving?
But for how long can you do that? And why should you?
If it’s not your fight anymore – quit.
Yes, people will criticise you.
Yes, you may have to live like an “outcast” for the rest of your life.
Yes, things may get ugly.
It’s your life. You need to decide what you want to do with it.
If you’ve realised it’s not your battle, then don’t care about the peer pressure.
Don’t give a fuck about the humiliation.
And then start preparing yourself for the one that’s indeed yours.
Don’t Settle for Mediocrity
Mediocrity is easy. Anyone can fool himself he’s succeeding. And It feels good when you see respect in others’ eyes.
But are you here to prove to others that you’re successful (while you know your life sucks)
You are here to live a life you enjoy.
It’s comfortable and socially acceptable to live a mediocre life, but your creator had never imagined you that way.
He wants you to live your life to the fullest.
Getting out of mediocrity and shine in brilliance is not easy. It’s hard as hell.
Your limits shall be tested. You’ll have to leave your comfort zones. You’ll feel like giving up and getting back to the “comfortable life.”
Keep working. Keep polishing your skills. Keep moving ahead no matter what.
Discard mediocrity once and for all. A life of brilliance awaits you.
Need More Time? Get Rid of ‘WhatsApp’
The idea was – to help you stay connected.
But now it has starting intimidating you with junk messages.
Using WhatsApp is permitting people to waste your time.
Anyone can reach you anytime. People who have nothing valuable to say can send you messages – just for the sake of it.
You receive a hell lot of them. Every single day.
Hardly 1 per cent of the messages are useful – rest 99 per cent are non-sense.
Are you comfortable with people disturbing you in the middle of your work or stealing your family time? Well, good for you.
But if you want to free up your time so you could:
Read more to improve your grades.
Spend more time with your real friends.
Work on building an elite physique.
Then get rid of WhatsApp.
Yes, people will give you a look – “What? You don’t have WhatsApp?”
But that’s OK.
Only people who need to get in touch will contact you.
You can enjoy free time (a lot of it) if you’re willing to pay the price. Free time doesn’t come for free.
And the time wasters? They will fade away.